Ultimate Guide: How to Grow Cucumbers Indoors Hydroponically

The Great Hydroponics Adventure: Growing Cucumbers Indoors

There I was, sipping my coffee on a lazy Saturday morning, the kind where the sun filters gently through the window, illuminating dust motes like tiny fairy lights. I’d just finished reading my latest obsession about hydroponics and thought, “What if I could grow my own cucumbers right here in my little apartment?” The thought tugged at me, insistent and almost childlike in its enthusiasm. So, with a naïve glee, I decided to embark on the adventure of building an aquaponics system in my backyard.

A Vision Takes Shape

Now, I didn’t have a lot of fancy equipment lying around. Just some old plastic barrels I salvaged from behind the grocery store, a couple of 2x4s from a 20-year-old project that went awry, and a surly cat named Hank who seemed more interested in lounging around than helping me. I figured, “How hard could it be?” Spoiler alert: harder than I thought.

After watching a few YouTube videos—because, let’s be real, that’s almost like formal education in the age of the internet—I had a sketchy blueprint in my mind. I mixed my ideas with the cobbled-together knowledge I’d acquired and set about creating what I envisioned as my very own hydroponics paradise. I’d imagined rows of verdant cucumbers glowing with health, climbing eagerly toward the ceiling like they were auditioning for a spot in a Pinterest board.

The Fishy Factor

My first wrong turn happened when I went to the local bait shop. I needed fish, of course. After much deliberation—and possibly a friendly conversation with the guy behind the counter—I decided on goldfish. I figured they were cheap, cheerful, and not too picky about their living conditions. Because, really, who wouldn’t want to have a cup of Joe while also being serenaded by the view of a pair of glittery orange fish?

Equipped with two goldfish, which I named Betty and Wilma, I set up the fish tank and connected it to my vertical cucumber planters. I added water that—let me tell you—started to smell like a swamp pretty quickly. Thinking I’d nailed it in the assembly, I slipped inside for a much-needed break, daydreaming about cucumber sandwiches to come.

Reality Sets In

But reality, as it often does, came knocking sooner than expected. I returned outside to find the water turning a disturbingly deep shade of green. "Algae!" I shouted into the void, as if Hank the cat could fix it for me. I thought to myself, “What kind of mad scientist have I become?” I scrambled to fix it, adding an absurd amount of aquarium treatment. Spoiler alert: that didn’t work either.

I almost threw in the towel—then I remembered my old gardening mentor, Daisy. Daisy once told me, “You’re gonna mess things up, kid. But that’s when you learn.” So, I took a deep breath, rolled up my sleeves, and decided to figure things out. With a couple of YouTube videos and a library book I found gathering dust, I delved deeper into the world of aquaponics, and what I needed to fix.

The “Eureka” Moment

The biggest turnaround was when I realized I needed more plants to help clean that algae-infested water. I went for basil and lettuce—hardy little guys that could hold their own in my novice setup. I set them in the grow beds and crossed my fingers. Pretty soon, there was a magical transformation in the tank. Betty and Wilma seemed a lot more comfortable, and for the first time, I felt a surge of pride. Before long, I could almost see the cucumbers climbing up their trellis in my mind’s eye.

Then came the moment I didn’t see coming. I found myself nestled on the couch one evening, surrounded by the comforting hum of my homemade system. With my trusty cup of coffee, I realized that every failure had taught me something new. The smell that once horrified me had transformed into the sweet, earthy aroma of damp soil mingling with nutrient-rich water. Did I actually love this chaotic creation of mine? Yes. Yes, I did.

Lessons Learned

I can’t say everything went perfectly, of course. Some plants succumbed, and yes, I had moments of despair when the cucumbers seemed to stall. But through all the messiness, I formed a bond with my little garden—and those unexpected moments became cherished memories.

Daisy was right; I messed up a lot. Yet, each hiccup had been a stepping stone. I learned about the pH levels and how to test them, swiftly learned that goldfish aren’t just cute, and even discovered that tweaking the water pump could turn a drippy mess into a smoothly flowing oasis. And eventually, the cucumbers? They made it.

So, here I sit, thinking back over that adventure—an absurd, messy, rewarding experience. If you’re considering growing cucumbers or diving into hydroponics, don’t worry about getting it perfect. Just start. You’ll figure it out as you go, even if it means a few fishy misadventures along the way.

If you need a little more inspiration (and a lot more laughs), join me for the next session—I promise more stories and maybe even a couple of cucumber tips you won’t want to miss. Reserve your seat here and let’s embark on this adventure together!