Cabbages, Fish, and the Hydroponic Fiasco of 2022
It was late spring last year when I first laid eyes on that YouTube video showing how to build an aquaponics system. There was something about the idea of growing my own vegetables while raising fish that tickled my fancy—a sort of eco-friendly circle of life right in my backyard. So, there I was, mid-morning coffee in hand, elbow-deep in an adventure I never quite expected.
It started with a trip to my local hardware store, where I felt like a kid in a candy store, though honestly, more like a confused adult trying to assemble a flat-pack piece of furniture without instructions. I wheeled a cart filled with PVC pipes, a submersible pump, and grow trays past the gardening aisle, where I picked up a couple packets of cabbage seeds. Why cabbage? I always loved the crunchy bites in coleslaw, and they supposedly thrived in hydroponic systems. Plus, I thought to myself, “How hard can it be?”
The Shed Chronicles
Back at home, I raided my old shed, rummaging through cobwebs and rusty tools. I found a worn-out fish tank I had used back when my kids were obsessed with aquariums. It’d been holding onto the smells reminiscent of stagnant water, but I figured a bit of elbow grease and dedicated scrubbing would fix that right up. It didn’t. I learned quickly that no amount of scrubbing could erase the memories of the goldfish I’d lamented over the years. I remember naming them—Goldie, Finnea, and my personal favorite, Sir Swims-a-lot. All lovely names for the dead fish I found floating in that old tank, a fate I hoped would not befall my new aquatic friends.
I finally settled on some tilapia, thinking they’d be the perfect fishy companions for my cabbages. They’re hardy and grow fast—much like my ambitions. After some comical trials and tribulations of trying to round them up from the local fish store, which I swear had more odd smells than any seafood market, I was set.
An Ode to Cabbage Nutrients
Now, if anyone says growing cabbages is all sunshine and rainbows, believe me, they’ve never met a cabbage nutrient deficiency. After I got everything set up—water pumped into the grow trays, fish living in the tank like they were on vacation—I realized I didn’t really know what I was getting into. I fed those fish only to watch in horror as they started huddling at the bottom of the tank, sluggish and still. I panicked and dug through the internet at 2 AM, realizing I had no clue about the nutrient balance required not just for the plants, but for the fish too.
The water had started turning green, not the vibrant hue of life, but rather a murky shade that resembled the interior of a swamp. My makeshift system had gone from an idyllic fantasy to akin to a middle-school science project gone wrong. When I finally figured out that I needed to supplement with some hydroponic nutrients, I stumbled upon a formula designed specifically for leafy green vegetables. I started adding the correct ratios of liquid nutrients, but my first attempt led to a bright pink water disaster—someone should’ve warned me about colors that should never mix.
The Fish Prologue
There was a moment of clarity, though, amidst all the chaos. As I walked out to check on my tilapia, I noticed how resilient they really were. They adapted and thrived, munching on the algae that had come to life in that horrible green water. I even grew fond of their small personalities—there was the aloof one I named McFin, and the bold one, aptly dubbed Captain Nemo, who always swam up to meet me at feeding time. Little did I realize, my efforts to raise fish were matching the chaos of trying to get cabbage seedlings to sprout.
Cabbage plants, I quickly learned, would demand consistent pH levels and nutrient delivery. I had tried to DIY a pH tester using some random material I found in the shed (don’t ask), and although it kind of worked, it was doomed from the start. Eventually, I caved in and bought a real pH meter online. I felt like I had struck gold when I finally managed to find a balance. The babies were starting to sprout!
Lessons Learned
You’d think after all that, I’d take a step back and relish in the glory of victory, but the universe, in its jest, had other plans. An unexpected storm rolled through, and my makeshift setup was tragically unprepared for the sudden downpour. That relentless rain flooded my system. The fish were swimming for their lives, and I nearly joined them—right into panic-mode, of course. Let’s just say that day remains etched in my memory as the day I almost gave up on gardening entirely. But then again, resilience seemed to be the theme of my journey.
I learned that aquaponics is all about adaptation and letting go of the need for perfection. Supplies were repurposed, mistakes were made, and lessons were learned in ways I never expected. That initial dream of a simple veggie garden had expanded into a full-on symphony of trial and error. The cackling laughter of my kids as they witnessed the chaos became the soundtrack of my backyard.
A Homely Epilogue
So, here’s my message after all of that—if you ever find yourself contemplating the weird, beautiful world of growing your food, don’t let the fear of failure hold you back. The fish will live, the cabbages will grow, and yes, the water may turn colors you never wanted to see. But that’s part of the beauty in all this. Just start, embrace the differences, and make the memories—even when they aren’t perfect.
And if you ever want a good laugh, grab a coffee and let’s talk about our next session together. Join the next session of my aquaponics support group, where we can share our ups and downs. You can reserve your seat here. Come and share, because this wacky experience doesn’t come with instructions, but I assure you—we figure it out together.
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